Understanding Grief: What It Is, How It Feels, and How to Cope

Grief is a universal human experience. At some point in our lives, we have all experienced some form of loss and the grief that comes with it.

Grief is a natural and complex response to loss. Many people attribute grief to the difficult period following the death of a loved one. But grief can also arise with many other life changes.

You may experience grief over the loss of:

·      Death of a loved one (family, friend, partner)

·      Death of a pet

·      Breakups, divorce, or separation

·      Loss of health due to illness or injury

·      Loss of independence or mobility

·      Loss of a sense of purpose or direction

·      Losing a job or career

·      Financial loss or instability

·      Losing a home (eviction, foreclosure, disaster)

·      Infertility or pregnancy loss

·      Loss of trust in someone or something

What Grief Can Look Like

Grief is not linear and affects everyone differently. While it’s the process of adjusting to what has been lost, it can be exhausting and emotionally draining.  

Many people describe grief as “coming in waves,” and it may feel as if your emotions emerge without warning. One moment you may feel as if life is back to normal, and the next moment you may find yourself in tears. Grief causes people to experience a full range of emotions – from sadness and anger to even moments of joy.

Some people experience physical symptoms during grief, such as fatigue, headaches, restlessness, heart palpitations, and trouble sleeping. Grief can also impact your appetite and cause changes in your weight.

Stages of Grief

Grief is often described in “stages,” but it’s important to remember that these aren’t steps you move through in a linear order. Instead, they’re common emotional experiences that can come and go over time.

• Denial – At first, it can be hard to fully accept what’s happened. You might feel numb, shocked, or like you’re just going through the motions.

• Anger – Anger can show up in many ways: toward the situation, other people, yourself, or even the person who died. It’s a natural response to feeling hurt and powerless.

• Bargaining – This stage often sounds like “what if” or “if only.” You might find yourself replaying events and wishing you could change the outcome.

• Depression – As the reality of the loss sinks in, deep sadness, loneliness, or exhaustion can take over. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a human response to losing someone or something important.

• Acceptance – Acceptance doesn’t mean the pain is gone or that you’re “over it.” It means you’re beginning to live with the loss and finding ways to carry your grief while also moving forward.

Healthy Coping Strategies

Coping with grief is a gradual process, but there are things you can do to make it easier on yourself and on others who may need your support.

·      Allow yourself to feel. Acknowledge your emotions instead of pushing them away. There’s no “right” way to grieve – sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and even moments of relief are all common.

·      Practice self-care. As you grieve, try to prioritize basic self-care: aim for seven to eight hours of sleep each night and take a nap if you need to recharge. Incorporate movement, eat regular, nourishing meals, and explore calming practices like meditation and yoga. Give yourself permission to practice self-care without guilt.

·      Talk about your loss. Reaching out to trusted friends, family, or support groups can help ease the grieving process.

·      Stick to routines and simple structure. Sticking to a routine can restore a sense of control and help steady your emotions. Keep regular sleep, wake, and shower times, and eat meals at consistent times. Celebrate each task you get done as a win.

·      Seek professional support. Talking with a therapist, grief counselor, psychiatric provider, or support group can give you a safe space to share your feelings, learn coping strategies, and feel less alone.

Closing Message

If grief feels heavy or overwhelming, you don’t have to carry it alone. Reach out to APMG to connect with compassionate and caring professionals who can walk alongside you during these difficult times.